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Hi there and welcome to the latest edition of
The Nut.
This is the area where I try to solve any of your little
issues whether they be of a cricketing nature or of a more
personal background. Thank you to all of you who have sent
letters in and I hope my advice will be of value.
Q: If your boyfriend starts to lose his hair, what
should you do, dump him or love him for what he is?
-Anonymous
A: I believe the answer to this particular questions is not to do with
your boyfriend losing his hair but his failure to
keep it on his head. Taking Chopper as an example, his hair
has simply slipped from his head and onto his back. Failing that just
get drunk and you won't notice it!
Q: On reading your inspirational answers to the
various problems you have been sent, I have been motivated
to detail my specific problem. I go out and get pissed a
lot and when I meet totty my mind goes blank and all I can
think of to say is "what you called then?". The evening
deteriorates rapidly from here with me running out of
things to say after my initial flourish and I just stare at
their breasts and dribble. Any pearls of wisdom to help
with my future encounters of the opposite sex.
-Brian Duggen
A: I don't see what the problem is?????
Q: I have been seeing this girl for quite a while now but I am not sure whether she really
likes me or not. How can I tell?
A: The answer, like so many other things, lies in alcohol. What
I suggest is that you take her out
and get dribbling one Saturday night in a posh restaurant, thoroughly
embarrass yourself.
If she sticks with you then you are onto a winner!
Q: I have heard that drinking can damage your brain, is this true?
A: Actually the reverse is true. Your brain is like a herd of buffalo, with each individual brain
cell being like an individual buffalo. Just as when the herd is hunted by a tiger the weaker
of the buffalo are killed, the same happens with your brain cells while drinking. Although some
buffalo are lost the heard as a whole becomes stronger as only the fittest buffalo are left.
As a result the more you drink, the more the weaker cells are killed off leaving you with a
stronger, more astute brain.
That concludes the drivel for this episode. Please feel
free to email me with any of your problems. If I can help,
.......... i will.
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Wingnut's
Corner
New Kitchen, as Winsley invest in state of the art dishwasher. )){kind=small}
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