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Hi there and welcome to the latest edition of The Nut.
This is the area where I try to solve any of your little issues whether they
be of a cricketing nature or of a more personal background. Thank you to all of
you who have sent letters in and I hope my advice will be of value.
Q: If your boyfriend starts to lose his hair, what should you do, dump him
or love him for what he is? -Anonymous
A: I believe the answer to
this particular questions is not to do with your boyfriend losing his hair but
his failure to keep it on his head. Taking Chopper as an example, his hair has
simply slipped from his head and onto his back. Failing that just get drunk and
you won't notice it!
Q: On reading your inspirational answers to the various problems you have
been sent, I have been motivated to detail my specific problem. I go out and get
pissed a lot and when I meet totty my mind goes blank and all I can think of to
say is "what you called then?". The evening deteriorates rapidly from here with
me running out of things to say after my initial flourish and I just stare at
their breasts and dribble. Any pearls of wisdom to help with my future
encounters of the opposite sex. -Brian Duggen
A: I don't see what
the problem is?????
Q: I have been seeing this girl for quite a while now but I am not sure
whether she really likes me or not. How can I tell?
A: The answer, like
so many other things, lies in alcohol. What I suggest is that you take her out
and get dribbling one Saturday night in a posh restaurant, thoroughly embarrass
yourself. If she sticks with you then you are onto a winner!
Q: I have heard that drinking can damage your brain, is this true?
A: Actually the reverse is true. Your brain is like a herd of buffalo,
with each individual brain cell being like an individual buffalo. Just as when
the herd is hunted by a tiger the weaker of the buffalo are killed, the same
happens with your brain cells while drinking. Although some buffalo are lost the
heard as a whole becomes stronger as only the fittest buffalo are left. As a
result the more you drink, the more the weaker cells are killed off leaving you
with a stronger, more astute brain.
That concludes the drivel for this episode. Please feel free to email me with
any of your problems. If I can help, .......... i will. |